So, what does resilience mean to you?
Does it mean having the toughness or flexibility to recover quickly from difficulties?
When overwhelmed with depression, grief or other challenges that life so readily presents to us. Where do we find the strength to regain balance in our lives? Despite all the help readily available these days it takes huge effort to regain our mental equilibrium, not to mention recover from the physical strain it puts on our bodies, our relationships, our jobs…
So, where does it come from?
Resilience enables us to develop mechanisms for protection against all difficulties – finding tools to help us recognise a problem before it becomes too big or to find the energy to withstand that problem with all your might means less chance of ‘falling at the first hurdle’.
As a holistic healer, I have many clients, some going through mega-stressful situations; complicated divorces; access to children during and after divorce; being sold a house with access difficulties, life is not easy. So many people are facing hard situations and are simply not equipped with coping mechanisms to deal with the stresses and strains of modern life. Resilience is not taught at school along with the 3 R’s – how wonderful if it were. to help them through these situations. It is vitally important, at these times to ask for help.
Finding the tenacity to cope when the going gets tough takes a lot of resilience. We must learn to address our problems, emotional, physical, financial and spiritual by asking for help in the right places; if you have emotional baggage; stored resentments; anger; regret etc, be brave enough to visit a counsellor and ask for help. Talk it through with someone impartial, let it out before it festers and overwhelms you – that negative energy is doing you no good charging around your body. If left to fester it will lead to feeling of abandonment; loneliness, lack of self-worth; lack of self-esteem – is that what you want? If you don’t feel well or have an existing medical condition, dig deep and find a way to make life easier, ask for a second opinion etc.
Not being able to cope with life can lead to all kinds of problems; mental instability, anxiety, depression and even a nervous breakdown. Problems need to be addressed, talked about, explored and understood and with a little application, determination and openness, can usually be resolved. Of course, it isn’t always easy and is sometimes a little uncomfortable but it is always, always worth trying.
There is no doubt that if an emotional problem is left unresolved over a long period of time, there is a good chance it will manifest itself in a physical way – that negativity in your body has to find a way out.
So, be kind to yourself and recognise that most people in this frantic world have issues that need some attention but also be determined that you are going to be one of those who chooses to take that problem, unpick it, understand it and with determination and much resilience deal with it.
I find inspiration in the older generation. My mum, who died last year aged 96, was a tough old cookie. She had lived through the Second World War and had coped with stress and hardship most of her life. And yet, she got on with life – she brought her children up, fed and watered them and taught them valuable lessons. Of course, pray we never have to face another war but look around people around you who seem to manage their lives seamlessly and see if you can learn from them.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we, as humans, were actually taught coping mechanisms in school to deal with all the angst we have?
Instead of the three R’s – reading, writing and arithmetic they could learn the 7 C’s; Control; Competence; Coping; Confidence; Connection; Character and Contribution. That would give them all the resilience they need to navigate their lives.
How do you know if you are resilient?
Do you believe in yourself? Do you have a clear sense of your own potential, capability and ability to cope? When in a psychological emotional or mental situation do you ‘bounce back’ quickly?
It quietens the mind and helps release anxieties delivering peace, calmness and clarity to with you through life. All you need is about 30 mins to start or even 20 mins will help you. If you are feeling too overwhelmed to try and meditate then find a sacred space in nature; a park or a nature reserve, somewhere peaceful. Ask your higher self/soul /guardian angel/earth – spirit guides to help you. or if you have this belief you can call on your guardian angel or earth/spirit guides to be with you in your sacred space. Nature alone will help you to calm down and de-stress you, as you listen to the trees, and birds, appreciate the natural beauty of the Earth. Feel the sunshine on your face, look at any flowers, bushes and shrubs, feel them, touch them. Breathe in the newness of another day, plan on getting clarity and resolution. Whilst walking, moments of silence and inspiration will come. Trust me, I know, I’ve done it will.
Article by Linda Jarrett
Author and More to Life Elder