Love is often thought about as an external event such as entering a committed relationship, close friendships, or the love between a parent and child. Yet you can have those things and still feel unloved. That’s because you don’t know the feeling of love within you, for you.
Consider this, can you describe skiing down a mountain or hang gliding if you’ve never done those things? Theoretically the answer is yes, but in truth you’re only making an educated guess. If you don’t love yourself, how can you know how being loved would feel? Especially when there are so many subconscious human programmes working in the background, undermining all positive thinking, logic, the law of attraction, and gratitude lists.
Love isn’t just an emotion, it’s an experience based on inner knowledge. You will find that if you allow yourself to love and appreciate the person you are, you will recognise the genuine emotion when it comes from others. But if you can’t measure their behaviour against the positive emotions you feel for yourself, you will keep falling into the wrong relationships.
So, do you treat yourself in a loving manner? Do you take care of your mind and body? Do you act when you feel out of alignment, not just by identifying your thoughts and feelings, but by using that information to create change?
These questions are important because you are the only person who can make you feel wonderful. If you don’t feel great about you, then you will demonstrate that by treating yourself carelessly. That’s when you start accepting poor treatment in your life.
If you feel wonderful about you, then no one can take that feeling away or destroy your confidence. This makes you far more lovingly powerful in relationships and more likely to act in your best interests rather than accept any old treatment.
Think about whether you’re happy with your hair, your wardrobe, shoes – are they comfortable or deliberately excruciating? People may suggest that making these things important is vain or silly, far from it, what’s on the inside will be reflected on the outside. These ‘silly’ things are amongst your most important messages because you’re showing what you’re feeling and others will see it, and that will affect the way they treat you.
If you can’t be bothered to do your hair and grab jeans that should have been washed a week ago, claxons should be going off in your mind, but don’t waste any time feeling bad about yourself, that’s just a way to delay positive action and continue the pattern. Something is wrong? Identify, consider, act. Keep it simple.
That may mean severing ties with people who make you uncomfortable: friends, workmates, partner, even family. If you’re always picking the wrong type of partner don’t shrug and laugh at yourself, work out why because it’s important. When people laugh that someone is always picking ‘bad uns’ I want to go over and tell them that this is something to be taken seriously because their friend is putting a message out there regarding how they feel about themselves.
If you want to have love, you need to feel loved and understand that feeling of love. That can only come from you. Paying close attention to thoughts, words, and actions, and recognising them as signals from the heart is one way forward. As I said in the last edition, your heart knows.
Yet ‘what is love?’ It’s all very well to say the word and know we should feel it, but again we never sit down and ask what it means to us. Have you defined what you would be feeling if you were in love with you and full of gratitude, every single moment of every single day, just because you’re you? It’s important that you know what would make you feel that way. Nothing is ever about anyone else, it’s always about personal thoughts and beliefs.
That’s the logic, which is important, but creating change can feel hard, unless you embrace the spirituality shared in this type of magazine and use it as action, spiritually defined action is simple, fast, and so incredibly effective it’s stunning.
I am a psychic medium, but I also use the connection that comes with it to learn from the all-knowing universe how to be the best version of myself; my Guides being my greatest blessing and teachers. I’m not perfect, I don’t even try for that as I’m human, but I have learned how to genuinely like and love myself, and to be a stern parent when I need one.
If you want to know what love is, meditate, connect to your guides, ask to experience the world of love and all it has to offer. Don’t forget to ground yourself first and set a timer if you’re not used to meditation, it’s far too easy to get lost for hours over there, and extremely hard to explain why you didn’t turn up for work yesterday!
At the end of the day, I can list all the human rules, but your personal connection with the world of love will make an immense difference in your life. In honesty, there are two missing elements in love, the first is the connection to a world of love, the second is – you! You first, then the rest will take care of itself.
Article by Deb Hawken
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