No one ever tells you how lonely this journey can be at times. People will talk about how amazing and incredible it is. They will also tell you about the profound experiences that they have had. They will tell you about the people that they have met along their journey. But no one ever tells you how lonely this journey can be.
No one tells you that sometimes you will feel so incredibly alone that you start to question if everything that is happening to you is even real. No one tells you about the times when you are sat on your bed, alone, at 3am in the morning rubbing your eyes and crying in disbelief at having had an incredibly profound experience and having no one to talk to about what just happened. No one tells you about the amount of self-healing that goes hand in hand with a Spiritual journey. The shadow work that you are triggered into facing on your own.
It doesn’t even enter your head at the start of your journey. You’re so excited! Slightly naïve. A bit bewildered. Full of anticipation. The people around you are just as excited as you are. You ask people for their advice, ask about their personal experiences and where their Spiritual path led them to, and they are only too willing to share. They suggest things you may want to explore further to help you on your path. You feel exhilarated! It is so refreshing to finally be able to talk to people about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing, more importantly without being judged or have people thinking that you were going crazy. You relish the fact that you can talk to people about how you always knew you were a bit different and have finally found what has been missing from your life for all those years.
Fast forward a few months. Some of those people are no longer around you anymore. Why? You start to question yourself. Was it something you did? New people start to filter into your life. Some will enter only fleetingly to impart some knowledge or give you some advice. Some will enter to tell you what they think you should do and what spiritual direction you should take. On a side note, it is fascinating to see how many Spiritual people believe that everyone should do things the way that they have and to follow the same path as them. Some of these people will come into your life to teach you about the type of Spiritual person that you don’t want to be. These transient people that briefly pitch up into our lives may provide you with some company. But you still feel alone.
Then, there are the Spiritual people that you really believed would help you navigate this journey and be with you all the way. They suddenly turn away from you. They were there at the start, nurturing you. Offering help and support. And then out of nowhere, they walk away. And right at the time when you are on the cusp of discovering a new gift of yours has been unlocked, a time where you feel you need them the most. The heartache at losing these people at such a pivotal time of change for you can leave you incredibly isolated, hurt and frustrated. Almost like losing that comfort blanket or safety net. Now you really feel alone.
As your knowledge grows and your gifts develop you cannot help but change. You are not the same person that walked through that spiritual door. And, as you start to change, your circle of friends around you may get smaller. Not everyone will understand your journey and not everyone will agree with the path you are walking. People won’t see that you are not the same person that you used to be. The changes that happen to you are at soul level. The things that used to spark your soul don’t anymore. You crave deeper conversations and deeper connections. You see everything differently. There is that realisation – you can’t go back to where you used to be.
When you find your calling on this journey, that can isolate you temporarily. If you know your path is healing, some of your Pagan friends may not understand this. Some of your healer friends may not understand why you haven’t chosen a Shamanic path.
The highs on this journey can be euphoric and you desperately want to share them with someone who would understand just how amazing they were. Just as when you hit the lows on this journey. The times when you are ploughing through your shadows and staring head on at your deepest fears and insecurities. When you desperately want someone to hold you and tell you that everything is going to be ok and that the light would shine on you again.
During these times when we have no one to talk to about what we are experiencing or feeling, this is where we have to turn to Spirit. We must stop asking for validation from others and asking them if what we are doing or what we are feeling is right. Go inwards and trust. Enjoy and bask in those moments of euphoria. Embrace the highs. Find your own light in those times of darkness. Power through the lows. Your Spiritual journey is just as unique as you are. And you are not alone. Spirit is always with you.
Article by Verity Brown
Atarah Wellbeing
https://www.atarahwellbeing.co.uk
Article published in More to Life – Edition 64
