The definition of Hope: ‘A wish that is anticipated or expected will occur. A reason for confidence or expectation. A person or thing in which one places confidence.’
So please allow me to tell you a story of hope, one that encompasses all these ideas, one that I ‘hope’ you can draw upon when you need to raise your game and attack a challenge.
This last year my husband has tackled cancer, and it is close to a year since the first letter arrived starting us down an avenue which many have travelled. In fact, it wasn’t a completely new experience as in my late teens and early twenties there had been chronic and terminal illness in my family. My Father had died of cancer which started in the lungs spreading to his liver, he died 3 months from his diagnosis, palliative care was sparse, not like today.
My Mother passed with strokes with diabetes as an underlying cause and later my sister-in-law had passed very quickly of cancer which had reached her brain. I also lost my dear brother to bowel cancer in 2021. Cancer had taken friends and family alike and we had known it and its work.
This however was different, this was my husband and part of me was crying out “How dare you, you have taken so many, you think you can just come in here and take the love of my life away too! Well not on my watch!”
So it began, a battle between us and the enemy, and the very real battle my husband was facing was about to change our life together. We are in our sixties been married 34 years, together 39. One Saturday morning last July we were in the kitchen, discussing finances and a few plans to get where we wanted to be to retire in less than a couple of years. We were still going to work maybe contract or part time to fit in things we enjoy. Hence my writing would always be part of that scenario because I love it. Then we received a letter in the post which was to put those plans on hold.
A few days earlier my husband had received a phone call from the screening department for bowel cancer. “Mr. McDowall, we haven’t had your test back, that we sent you.” Well that’s because I haven’t received one yet” he had replied. He knew he was due one and always did it as soon as it arrived, but this one hadn’t arrived. I was bemused as we had never had a follow up call like that before but then the test had always dropped on the doormat. They sent another test. Within six days he was called up for a pre colonscopy talk, then a colonoscopy.
During this procedure a sedative is offered, so when results were in after the procedure I asked if I could be present, in case he didn’t take it all in being still under the influence of the sedative. Well, that was a good intuitive move.
The young nurse came in with a supervisor. I had a feeling she had not done this consultation part before. After a few general comments she said, “We have found a tumour and it is cancer.” Pausing to check my husband, moving closer and putting my arm around him, I asked “So what next?” No fuss, no emotion, no denial just a “Right, we had better get on with this then and roll our sleeves up”. There was no doubt, It was early and only 1.5 cms in size, yet it was going to upset our plans, our lifestyle and control what we did for the next twelve months.
The anger set in deep in my stomach and then it turned to something else, gradually it turned to acceptance. We decided to be organized, go through step by step and with a positivity and hope that threw the nursing staff into briefly worrying we were in denial.
There was no denial, we saw the pictures, we knew what the enemy was. We were simply not having it! He had the operation, a third of the colon to be removed, appendix, tumour and some lymph nodes. Then the next blow – it had seeped through three layers of the bowel and was therefore deemed stage three.
I pondered, if that screening test had not been due, if the department somewhere had not followed up that he hadn’t received the test and had he not done the second test sent straight away, well we would be looking at a very different story for there was only one more stage to go. Terminal!
Next, we just kept asking what we could do to help ourselves, what could we do to aid the treatment. Good food, following routines and recording results, what worked, what didn’t. Being organized helped. The oncologist and nursing staff were beyond excellent.
After the operation three weeks of recovery, I worked hard to nurse my husband, Bob, a brave soul. He was determined. The advice to have six months, eight cycles of chemotherapy followed. Well, here we go, a timetable erected to tick off each cycle as we go. One IV drip, two weeks of tablets and one week off, where we took time to rest and relax before the next cycle. We hit the targets and along the way my husband signed up to help a trial for a vaccine.
Scans, blood tests became a regular pattern and then as the chemo finished, now April 2025 we dared to hope. The hope that had started as anger transformed to acceptance and then blossomed into hope. Along the way we had prepared for every eventuality getting finances in order, updating wills and writing power of attorneys. So, we faced it full on but always with the hope that these things would not be needed. This time we were going to win. This time there was an expectation of a good outcome.
Then a scan showed inflammation at the site of the operation. “Nothing to worry about” they said, “but we have to check it.” Our hope which ran alongside determination willed for a good outcome. They did biopsies and we waited. Hoping beyond hope that it had not returned, how could it possibly get by all the positive energy of prayers, healing and love generated by friends and family.
Then this week June 2025 we got results. A face-to-face consultation, the scans, bloods, all markers, and biopsies clear. “Can we crack open the champagne yet?” my husband joked. The consultant gave us a big grin and said “YES! Well done, see you in three months for the trial observations.”
It was over. There were days, I remember five out of nearly a year, only five, when the chips were down and our hope and determination diminished. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t an easy trip down that avenue, but we arrived at a place where Bob had not only survived cancer but had thrived through it.
Throughout this experience we had confidence in the surgeon and all the staff who treated him, we expected the best outcome at each stage. Positive thought, expectations and hope cannot be underestimated but balanced with an acceptance of what is then transforming it with hope and positivity in your mind’s eye. We held nothing back. We had thrown everything at the enemy.
At the beginning we knew we were going into battle, but we didn’t know how, we hoped for the best outcome and that hope turned into results. We don’t always have to know the how of something but what we can do is start with our emotions of where we are in that situation and then accept what is and “What is next?” then allow that acceptance to sit with you and work on hope until it expands into your whole being.
The challenge may not be cancer, it may be something else but with a positive attitude, doing the best thing at the time and keeping hope in your heart, wrapping it in love for self and the love of others you can work your way through. Keep smiling, find humour where you can, do what cheers you and have hope and faith that those angels, guides, generating mysterious phone calls always have your back.
When you are in the challenge, however long the battle, ALWAYS keep hope in your toolbox, for being full of hope leads to wonderful outcomes, and if results go astray sometimes then living with hope is a good way to live anyway. Strength is built on hope, and I know you can be strong, whatever your challenge.
Article by Patricia McDowall
Author, Spiritual Teacher
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