Through the ages, mankind has accepted suffering as part of life, it has been conditioned by our cultures, lineages and church and is the reason why some people have opted out of ‘normal’ life and followed the spiritual path, looking for answers to some of life’s mysteries. Truth is, so many search outside of themselves, failing to realise the answers lie within.
In 2021, suffering is close to home for most of us. One of the keys to eradicating this desperate situation is a commitment to eradicating all forms of abuse – questioning how we treat ourselves, each other, the planet… Do we tolerate it? Do we recognise it? Of course, there are many forms of abuse; verbal, physical (both violent and sexual, and sometimes both), anger. Abuse is a cancer of society, a complex vast subject.
So many of my clients have suffered abuse in their lives. Some thought it was a normal way of life, some took 20-30 years to realise it was happening and were broken, tainted to the core in the process.
Abuse happens in home, school, office and on the street. How long will we continue to accept the violence and domination of those with mental health and sychopathic/sociopath tendencies who perpetuate abuse? Psychopathic based tendencies are usually caused by neglect, poor cognitive ability, and lack of brain development. Survival tendencies are prevalent in those who abuse – it is them against the world. They find this a scary place to live and lash out at others; a base line of lack of kindness, love, and nurturing, bringing instability, vulnerability etc. It seems we continue to roll out children who are starved of love and nurturing.
Sad Statistics
- In 2016, sexual abuse statistics were 1 in 10. Today it is 1 in 3 – a global emergency.
- In 2020, 1.6 million women in England/Wales are subjected to violence, sexual violence, or both – 30% aged 15 and older.
- Rape crisis reports almost half adult survivors are of child sexual abuse – figures are under reported and under-estimated.
- Women are raped and sexually assaulted every ten minutes (or less) in some parts of the globe.
- US reports every nine seconds a woman is beaten. Most crimes do not enter the criminal justice system.
The mental health outcomes are devastating, monetary costs extortionate, programmes helping individuals are overloaded. The human costs are unimaginable and last a lifetime.
Domestic violence remains a secret killer and costs billions annually (US reported 8.3billion (2013) climbing yearly to astronomical figures.
We are now experiencing monumental shifts in energetics, people across the globe are waking up to just how precious life is; good health in all areas – mind, body, and spirit, is essential to longevity. This transition and global awakening is supported by alignment of the planets as they ‘square up’ with Aquarius at numerous times through the year. This is a time for change, and we can no longer ignore the warning signs. We need to remove suffering from our lives, there is no other way.
Now is the time for change
Start in the home and in our relationships
Ask yourself “What am I doing to create stress and mental outcomes to myself and others around me?” It is a bold question but one that needs spotlighting.
Our reality is often different what we believe. We can carry ‘blind spots’ to our own neglect. Ruling subconsciously, the mind can hold memories of when abuse happened, and our response to it. It plays in a loop, locking both the perpetrator and victim into a cycle of unhealthy beliefs and behaviours. Recognising the power of the mind and having the courage and will to retrain our ways are paramount for a healthier life.
Ask yourself
- How kind are you to yourself?
- Are you bereft of love and kindness?
- Do you give or receive kindness?
- Do you treat others kindly?
Be truthful with yourself with your answers.
In my work with victims of abuse, I find self-sabotage and neglect a big part of the aftermath of abuse. Having ‘shut down’ the emotional body they remain frozen from life itself often disassociated from those around them – living half a life.
Of course, there is hope. Tina Turner’s horror story of abuse is a lesson of courage and determination.
Correcting abuse and neglect to self is the first step. So much help is available; therapies, groups, courses, 1-2-1 sessions in person or online. As the healing process begins, victims are amazed at how much they have tolerated. They cannot change the past, but they can change the future.
We have a right to strong self-esteem, healthy relationships, love, and kindness. We deserve to have hope and high expectations of life. We can be happy with who we are.
And so back to the spotlight. Lights, cameras, action – we are the producer and editor of our life – we can make the movie to be happy, exciting, fun, full of life… the list is endless. Jettison the negativity and embrace life with kindness and it will return the favour. Life can be bright, step up for change with grace and ease.
Article by Joy Wisdom
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