To know happiness; one must also know sadness, to know peace; one must also know conflict; to know tranquillity; one must also know turbulence, for if only one end of the spectrum is experienced then there is no frame of reference upon which to judge benefit or disadvantage. Not only are these experiences naturally occurring in the lives of most of us, from a spiritual perspective and in terms of soul development this is a truer representation of the meaning of Karma in terms of the lives we choose to live.
As each cycle of life revolves we take on new identities and meet new challenges, often with guidance as to what those challenges might be, and our acceptance of it, albeit occasionally tentative, is an essential part of continued growth. Experiencing new lives as new people are a prerequisite for soul growth, that growth that supersedes all others, and can only be truly appreciated once this current mortal coil has passed. There’s a great deal to be said about perspective for it changes everything.
No more is this demonstrated better than in those moments immediately after we pass from a living, feeling human being, to embrace our soul identity unhindered by the physicality of a material life. The hope, even expectation of those left behind, of a departed loved one also suffering an equal sense of loss would be cruelly punctured were they to realise that the soul of their loved one feels entirely differently about the whole thing. Whilst encapsulated in the moment when true grief really hits home, the desire to believe their grief is replicated on the other side is understandable, yet without any understanding that the departed will now view their former life, which may only have been minutes before, as entirely irrelevant.
I have some experience of this.
After years of caring for a loved one, watching her slowly deteriorate, you learn to carry their pain as your own. You manage their physical suffering while silently wrestling with your helplessness, and that tension builds quietly inside you, day after day, until it becomes something else you must also tend and control.
Then, in the final instant when everything ends, an inexplicable calm descends. The long hardship is over.
After forty-seven years of marriage, I held her hand as she took her last breath. In that moment, grief explodes, and a chasm of yawning emptiness suddenly exists, which just a moment before was occupied by duty, love and compassion and yet amongst the flood of emotion released in that moment there also arose a profound relief on her behalf. I knew another journey had begun for her, and I knew she wasn’t looking back.
Tranquillity often embraces strange catalysts.
So how can we best achieve that inner calmness despite adversity when we need to, perhaps to quiet pressing concerns for a while to allow a sort of recovery, a form of respite from what may seem to be insurmountable issues.
Let me explain a little about belief.
There are different forms of belief. One may believe in one God or another, or believe one theory or another, but the essence of belief as if affects our lives in all ways are those beliefs about who we are. A set of almost hard wired ‘truths’ we call our core belief system.
From birth to around six years of age the human child unquestioningly records much of what it will need to know to survive in the society into which it has been introduced. Critical in this mix of information that becomes the child’s core belief structure, is the development of a sense of self and identity. Here’s an example of how they are formed.
Imagine the scenario of a young child listening to parents loudly arguing downstairs. There may be no understanding of language, but the emotions contained within the voices are clear. What is the child to make of it? The real reason for the conflict might be money or drinking or some other issue between the adults and it probably won’t relate to the child, but how does the child know that? How can the child understand things of which it has no knowledge?
One of the fundamental duties of the brain is to make sense of the outside world in all its forms, so whatever is occurring will be perceived by the child and ascribed a meaning using the limited understanding it has. It simply cannot be meaningless to the developing human brain. A child might typically assume that the problem somehow relates to its relationship with the parents and consequently there is nothing preventing the child from concluding that they themselves have done something wrong. How is a four-year-old girl going to understand why her father is leaving home for good? She has no concept of infidelity or abuse or the other adult reasons for an acrimonious split.
She does know about her relationship with her father, however. Her limited knowledge may easily result in an incorrect interpretation of what is happening for her brain to make some sense of it. She might conclude, for example, that “if Daddy really loved me, he wouldn’t leave me”.
In this example there is ample opportunity for the underdeveloped mind of the child to conclude that they are involved and perhaps in some way to blame. The formations of beliefs about self-worth are beginning to take shape. Events that support these early beliefs will strengthen them and those that oppose the belief will be ignored.
The subject of belief is a book in itself, in fact it is; The Biology of Belief by Dr Bruce Lipton but in this context a balanced core belief set is helpful to know oneself, to be understanding and comfortable with oneself and that represents a route to an inner tranquillity which is the route to invoking calm over turbulent affairs.
Article by Elder, David Allen.
