My work as a Spiritual and Holistic therapist involves talking to many people, some of my clients whom are afraid about their future. They have come to the end of a phase in their lives and are unsure about what to do next. This can be the end of a relationship through a breakup; the end of a job or even grief experienced as empty nest syndrome. Life goes through a natural cycle of change. Nothing really lasts forever. As painful as that statement sounds or feels, the truth is, nothing is meant to last forever because you are meant to experience all that life has to offer.
Often, people focus on the ending of their situation and everything they feel they are losing. People usually know, on some level, that they have been living in a way that is not working for them, but they cling on to a mediocre existence because they are frightened of change.
Through discussion, it becomes apparent that they have been unhappy for some time, they have fallen out of love with a partner, or they have endured abuse. Some have stayed in a job that doesn’t inspire them and they feel stagnant. Perhaps their skills and talents have not been appreciated or the have been overlooked for promotion.
Some know that they could achieve so much more in this lifetime but can’t motivate themselves to take the first step forward to begin living the life of their dreams. They may be daunted by the prospect of hard work. Making changes can be uncomfortable for some people but if you can become comfortable about being uncomfortable, great things can manifest in your life.
Sometimes, it is easier to stay stuck even though they are not happy or fulfilled. Making necessary changes can seem more daunting than moving forward to a life that could be amazing preventing exciting possibilities that lie ahead to open. It is my job to help them to gently release the past, gain acceptance of where they are in the present and to encourage them to take steps forward to embrace the future.
Often, people want to know what lies ahead for them. They would like a cast iron guarantee that the path ahead is smooth with no bumps in the road but of course, life is not meant to be linear – it is meant to be undulating and curvaceous. You are not meant to see the finish line. That is what makes this transient journey through life such an adventure. When you can make peace with not knowing everything that lies ahead, you can become more accepting of the endings and the new beginning that punctuate this wonderful experience called life.
Endings are a normal and natural part of your human experience. It is perfectly okay to feel frightened and unsettled. Emotions are signals from your inner being that something needs to be acknowledged, worked through and when you are ready, released. It provides the much-needed contrast for your life. You can see what you don’t want to experience. You can become clearer on what is not working for you. Which in turn, helps you to clear your mind so that you can then begin to decide what you do want.
When an ending occurs, it is a time to be gentle with yourself. It is a time for selfcare. Rest when you can. Eat well and stay hydrated. Allow your tears to fall. Crying is a healthy release of emotional energy. Write letters that will never be read to anyone involved in your current situation. This is a cathartic way to say what is in your heart. It lets you organise your thoughts and to say what you need to say without interaction and interruption. When you feel ready, you can rip up the letters or burn them. It’s a good sign that you are ready to move forward.
When you make peace with the past and cut the etheric cords that keep you stuck there, you are ready to release and leave behind what was and begin to open up to the possibilities of the present of what is.
At this stage, clients often express their fear of being at a crossroads in their lives. When we explore the reason for the fear, it is usually the fear of choosing the wrong path. When your back is against a crossroads, it can be tempted to stay stuck here for too long. Not making a decision, is still a decision. It is always in your control to take a step forward in any direction.
There is no such thing as a wrong path. Every path is open to you. Every path propels you forward. You will meet new people and make new friends. You will encounter new teachers who will help you or test you. You will experience new opportunities and experiences. It will aid your growth and expansion in this lifetime. The most exciting part is when you feel ready, you can always choose another path because every time you decide to make a change and move forward, you are living deliberately and consciously. This is the most wonderful way to honour your soul and the precious gift of existing in this time and space.
Jean Fisher-Taylor – More to Life Elder
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Article published in Edition 61
