In the early stages of development, our main life goals are safety and security, coupled with the desire to establish personal worth and a sense of belonging. Life at this early-stage centres on physiological needs, so we expand the ego by feeding its sense of self-importance. We develop a powerful desire to be accepted, and we tend to socialise with likeminded social groups, to evidence and increase our sense of self-worth, reassuring us we are on the right track. However, if we remain locked in this dysfunctional micro-world, we end up living a self-centred, shallow existence.
In psycho-spiritual terms, as we grow, we move from aspirations (hopes and ambitions of personal achievement) to a more inspirational sense of being, via a coming together of the personal self and the transpersonal self. This means we are beginning to discover our authenticity. As the ego continues to connect and identify with this more inclusive dimension of consciousness, its control gradually diminishes, and slowly but surely, we begin to inhabit a state of being in which the mind works in tandem with the heart, the transpersonal seat of the soul. Now the ego is no longer in the driving seat, and the soul becomes the navigator.
It is at this point in our lives, as passion and purpose combine with internal awareness, many develop the urge to make abrupt and radical life changes, seeking to follow a more self-exploratory, intuitive and holistic life path. You might undergo a complete revaluation of your goals, decide on a radical career change, or have the spontaneous inclination to travel the world to experience adventure. This is all part of the evolution of human consciousness, and a stepping-stone on the journey to uncover our deepest sense of self.
As this transition continues, it can prove challenging for relationships when one person is undergoing an expansion of consciousness, and the other isn’t. It’s a bit like when one partner gives up smoking and the other doesn’t, there is a fog of anxiety, angst and blame lingering in the air. So, at this point, empathy, love and patience play important roles in finding a workable solution which supports both partners. If both are prepared to give some ground to one another, and meet, then a new exciting chapter awaits.
As the transpersonal takes over the navigation, the fearful ego is not destroyed, but nurtured and absorbed. This happens because the trustworthy soul exists at a higher frequency of consciousness, so it naturally absorbs the lower resonance of the ego. You can visualise this relationship as a glass containing a small concentrate of orange squash (the ego). Only when water (the soul) is added does the drink find its unified state, its functional balance. The squash is still there; it’s just been transformed or diluted to another more expansive state
(the soul).
For those who persevere with their awakening, service manifests as a yearning to return home, an intense and overwhelming passion to realise unification of the soul with God, the Divine, Awareness, Reality, Non-Duality, Existence, Pure Consciousness, I AM-ness, the Self or Spirit to name but a few. (Any persona-free label without form which works for you is great. At the end of the day, we are only using labels in a vain effort to describe the ineffable, That which is beyond words).
In a similar fashion to how the ego was absorbed by the soul, the transpersonal soul begins to commune with the Universal. As these meetings, glimpses, satoris, Kenshōs, or samadhis (names from different cultures and belief systems for the seeing of our true nature, which is typically beyond words) continue, the soul increasingly realises its essence.
The speed and depth at which the soul is absorbed in the Universal depends on how comfortable we feel in letting go, and to what lengths we are prepared to let go. Work done on ourselves, the understandings gained from both knowledge and experience are vital contributions in enabling communion and union with the Universal. Should we continually let go, persistently and deliberately clear away old debris, dump outdated anxiety inducing mindsets, and face up to our own residual patterns, then space is freed up for the expansion of consciousness. If we don’t do the necessary shadow work, we are only fooling ourselves and likely to become lost in some self-deceptive form of spiritual bypass such as thinking we are enlightened. Then, we are doing ourselves and others a disservice because we haven’t undertaken sufficient work on the lower vibrations, the unresolved patterns within our consciousness, and before too long, we cause ourselves and others harm as the ego creeps back into the driving seat.
The more you discover who you really are, the greater the desire to serve. You might already be in a job or career which supports and helps others and your form of service will manifest alongside your everyday work. You may do a job or jobs just to pay the bills and serve or contribute by supporting your family’s life at home. You may have had an awakening experience and do something radically different to support the whole. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what it is, and yet it matters enormously because in sharing your authenticity, you will be lighting up yourself and others, inspiring one another to heal, learn and grow.
We all have a need to find meaning and purpose in our lives and each one of us has the potential to actualise that meaning, making a contribution, a difference in the world. Service manifests through being your authentic self, a Self that is the same in all.
Author and More to Life Elder
