How To Attract Your Dream Intimate Partner After Abusive Relationships
Intimate relationships can be the most fulfilling aspect of life. Feeling deeply understood for the first time, feeling a deep soul to soul connection and feeling that you are now safe to fully express your full potential are just some of the great feelings our dream intimate partner can give us. Yet to attract this into our life is not easy.
It becomes even harder when we have suffered from abusive relationships in the past.
– Relationships that have left us feeling scared to trust another human being deeply again.
– Relationships that have left us hiding from shining our light into the world.
– Relationships that destroyed our self-esteem until we barely recognised the person looking at us in the mirror.
These types of relationships are not rare. It is estimated that one in four women and one in six men will suffer domestic abuse in their lifetime, with potentially even more suffering in silence.
In this new decade it is vital that empowered women and men heal from old wounds, with the rise of these traumas into the collective consciousness undeniable. Things are going to change. How can you be at the forefront of this change if you have experienced abusive relationships and now want to create a deeply conscious and fulfilling relationship?
There are three key elements to this process
You need to develop an unlimited gentleness towards yourself, be very firm and clear in what you want and change your being at all levels by taking disciplined action.
We have to be very gentle with ourselves after suffering an abusive relationship. Having worked with over one hundred clients and seeing them change at a very deep level, it is shocking how deeply the effects of abusive relationships run. The trauma infuses our being on a physical, emotional, mental, energetic and consciousness level. Often the patterns and self-sabotage that keep us locked in these types of relationships are so powerful and at such a deep level in the being that it takes real persistence, dedication and a lot of expert help to reverse them.
There is nothing fundamentally wrong about you if you have been in an abusive relationship. It is part of your life’s lessons and what you came to Earth to not only teach yourself, but teach others too.
An infinite gentleness is needed to help you regain wholeness and what you truly deserve; tenderly hold all the pain, anger and destruction from the past with love. There is simply no room for judgement and often the most judgement comes not from others but from the self-critical voice inside. Let her gently go now.
The Yin quality of gentleness is not enough on its own. It needs to be combined with the more Yang quality of firmness and real clarity on the intimate relationship you want. You have an outer focus to compliment the inner gentleness.
Having often experienced disappointment after disappointment in relationships, single females have hit the point where they will settle for no less than the man of their dreams. I encourage them to dream. This dream needs to be grounded in the real world and come from deep inside the heart, with a focus on practical qualities you seek in a partner and how you want your partner to make you feel.
The women I work with vary a lot on the practical; they all have different characters, but there is a lot of consistency in how they want to feel. They want to feel loved, feel deeply understood and feel that they are fully empowered to show up in the world as the strong radiant women they truly are.
Finally, these dreams are just dreams without disciplined, focused action that changes our being on all levels.
Your being needs to change to the vibration of your dreams. There are many ways to do this and everyone has a unique journey, but two key pieces of advice stand out to me as essential.
- You need to work with a coach/healer/teacher who is at a higher vibration than you and offers strong, grounded, practical advice. This significantly cuts your healing timeline and allows you to manifest your dream partner more quickly.
- This healing work then needs to be done on all levels. Sometimes if the person is highly skilled they can offer you the complete package, but often there is benefit in working with a variety of people who can unlock issues for your healing journey on a physical, emotional, mental, energetic and consciousness level.
Healing from relationship trauma is possible. We all deserve to attract our dream partner who uplifts us to our highest potential and who understands us like no-one else can. Often, however, we have many blocks and limiting patterns that can keep us going around in circles for decades.
As we enter a new decade, I highly encourage you to ‘step up’ -through unlimited gentleness towards yourself, being very firm and clear in what you want and changing your being at all levels. Taking disciplined action you can manifest the relationship of your dreams. You deserve this and can be one of the empowered leaders of the 21st century who goes from trauma to love.
Jack Childs has recently joined the team of Elders at More to Life.